Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Randomize
