Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
