he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
She tied me up with her honor cords...
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
