btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Randomize
