I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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