So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
