were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
