the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Randomize
