Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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