Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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