Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
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