Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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