Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Randomize