someone threw a dead crab at me
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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