mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
