RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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