I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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