u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Randomize
