We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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