Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
