Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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