shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Sorry about my life...
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
