Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
