She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize