i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
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