at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
