he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
