No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I just googled if crying burns calories
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
