We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize
