u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
