I wanna bring you to show and tell
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Randomize
