we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
me + whiskey = a bad person
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize