gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
