I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize