i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
