Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
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