You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
