Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
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