he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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