what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize