I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
