Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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