Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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