fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
