ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize
