Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
what is it with giant penises always finding me
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Randomize
