google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
My bed smells like the plague
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
