Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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