I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
