I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I love you. Go after that dick
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
