...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
