he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
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