IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
