Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
My ATM looks so different sober.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
