Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
