My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
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