I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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