You made me cry and you don't even care
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
