Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
