Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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