the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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