they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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