dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
