What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
