fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
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