Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
