Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Randomize
