They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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